People step on the path of self-awareness and self-development for one strong reason:
They feel there is something they would like to change in their lives as lets's say, there is a state they cannot pass with the same understanding they had until now. They need something new in case they want to change their life / themselves that feels more fitting to them.
So we start to search. And who searches for long enough, sooner or later finds the truth of life: if you want to change your life, you need to change yourself.
Bringing the time of introspection and self-reflection, and raising our self-awareness.
What is the difference between one's life before this turning point and after?
Basically the following thing: in the before state, we are drifting with the waves of life having no power over of its events and how we experience them. Life is whatever and we are its sufferers.
At the turning point we awaken to ourself and start to let in the possibility that there must be another way, a different way to pass through the experiences of life. So we start to search to empower ourselves to make the right choices in life.
And you could ask now: "Yeah, but what do you mean, the right choices?"
And you would be right there, hitting the nail on its head with the question.
Soon enough we learn that there is no such thing as ultimately 'right' or 'wrong'. Everything depends on the perspective where we are looking from.
While a small shed in an abandoned field might not be your dream home to be, it can mean heaven to a person, who have lost it all and got to the streets without a shelter of his own.
A camper that can take you to the most beautifully wild places in the world could be a dream of an adventurous person, who wants to seek nature and stay close to it, but to another person, who loves luxury, comfort and safety, having to travel in a campervan could be the most evil plan of God to him ever.
Everything in life gains meaning by starting to understand yourself.
Your likes, your dislikes shows very clearly where are you at in the journey with yourself and what are the core values through which you choose your life to be / let life happen to you.
Before the turning point, you have no self-awareness. You are what life dictates you to be. You depend on what you are surrounded by and you think about the events of your life the way as you told to think by others.
After self-awareness and consciousness raises, you reach out and seek for the difference...
And what you actually looking after is yourself.
Because what you have been missing throughout those years before were your true colors behind the thick layers of dust which are made up of the expectations of the exernal world. It has been always others telling you how to look, what to do, how to act, how to speak, what to wear, etc... in order to get acceppted and loved by others.
We learn this very rapidly in life, that in order to survive we need to corralete with others's expectations.
Because we need loving touch, food, good words to thrive healthily.
When we start our journey to look for a better life starts with the recognition of this psychologycal truth. Our actions are made to be as they are mostly by others and we haven't much say in it.
So is it our task now, to figure out every single feature that is coming from our father or mother and other icons we had in our childhood and earase them somehow?
And Who Are We, truly?
Not to worry! Although it is very easy to get lost in the woods of self-awareness / spirituality and get stuck with ourselves on a different level. But it does not have to be this way.
What serves us on a healthiest way is to keep our focus to the following guidline:
It isn't important wether a part of us we inherited from our Mom or from our Dad. The question is, wether how we express ourselves serves our person who we want to be or not.
What we are about to do is to liberate ourselves from an identity that we thought was us and so it is not changeable. Learning that each characteristic that we have is made up of constant repetiton of the same action and same set of beliefs beyond, gives us the opportunity to understand that it is possible to change them. Our characteristics are not set in stone - unless we want them to be like that.
So, Who Am I?
This is the part where the role of self-reflection comes back.
Finding your innate self take a different method from being smart & inventive.
It takes time of observation, self-reflectionan and an open heart.
We have learnt to judge and what is even worse: to value ourselves throught the glass of the society. And this was the reason why we have shaped up to be someone, who are not connected to our core self, our true self (or whatever other names you would want to call this part of you).
Learning to observe ourselves without any judgement is not only grow our conscious awareness but also weakens the strength of our identification with who we become through the external expectations.
Self-reflection is a process, which elevates our the emotions, from a vague feeling to clarity through asking yourself qestions like:
What do I like in this job?
Why would I choose that jacket rather than the other?
What do I find attractive in that person?
Why do I look up to this person?
What makes me feel this way on this place?, etc...
When you ask yourself these questions, you finally start to figure out what is important to you and why. What things carry meaning to you in life and what doesn't.
And when you ask yourself these questions for long enough, you start to recognise the re-occourring values in your answers.
Strength, sensitivity, openness, soul, care, love, ease, simplicity, devotion, selflessness, could be anything.
Those values that appear the most times, are the cornerstones of Who You Are at the moment and also will represent meaning to you in people, stuations, places, etc...
Self-reflection is a process that takes time for all of us. At the start it takes a lot of thinking and observation to figure out our answers. But when we get used it habitually, it becomes more easy. With time we learn to 'think' and feel easier on this terms, and we start to know and understand ourselves better. The more we do so, the better we can choose the 'right' people, actions, places etc... in our world, that nourish our heart-mind-body on a long-term instead of pick up things/people because someone told us this is the way to success, to happiness, to self-worth.
Everything in life gains meaning by starting to understand yourself.
Because when you understand yourself, you will be able to start relating the world to your true-self. You will see, feel and understand what does inspire you, what moves you towards where you wish to go, what are the things that recharge you and fulfill you and what are the ones that are not.
And so you will be ready to make decisions without hesitation for your best life experience, whatever that means to you.
Happy self-reflecting to everyone!
Here is an easy and fun game is here for you to start / continue this journey for you.
Go through the following photos. Take 1 minute to look at them and observe how they make you feel and ask yourself what is the reason beyond that. Write them down and group together the qualities&values that you have written down in your answers.
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